Source: www.collectivelyconscious.net | Original Post Date: November 5, 2015 –
Life is a continuance of cycles and if you listen and feel closely, there is a natural flow to all that exists. Intuition resides in all living beings and it is up to you to trust the infinite power that is within you… the power that you are.
You have the freedom and power to choose the life you imagine. The life of your dreams. This starts with a deep knowing of who you truly are, and coming to love and accept yourself fully and totally no matter what. This is the prerequisite for living a life that is 100% authentic to you, where you are 100% You. There is no one else alive that will live life exactly the way you will choose to, because you are a unique energy signature vibrating out your own personal frequency.
As a shift in consciousness occurs for humanity, we are being opened up to new paradigms of belief and thought. Humanity is getting a total makeover of the way we perceive the world around us, ourselves and each other. We are realizing that the only limits are the limits we place upon ourselves and the limits we allow other people to put on us.
Giving your power away to another person, is one of the most detrimental things for the soul. You can give so much to a person in an attempt for them to see your worth – but the person who is at war with themselves, is never going to appreciate your efforts or acknowledge your worth, because they don’t feel worthy within themselves on a deep deep level.
You will never be “good enough” in certain people’s personal perspective. But, when you are so strong in your power of self worth and self love, you will realize that this has nothing to do with you, you take your power back, and you can walk away to live your life in peace.
The honest truth is, you are worthy of love and respect, not because of anything you DO. You are worthy of that and so much more because of who you already ARE. Every living being is already worthy of love and respect from the moment they are born and does not have to do ANYTHING to prove that to anyone.
The thing is, is that the people who are the most insecure, tend to be the ones that expect and demand the most from others. When you love yourself fully, you don’t expect anything of anyone – because you are aware of the fact that you hold the power and the key to your true happiness. You fill your own cup.
Yet unfortunately, this has become the emotional plague of humanity. We all want to be loved and accepted, we are so afraid of upsetting people, making someone angry, so afraid of not having the acceptance of others. So busy running around trying to make everyone else happy that we forget that the quest to true, everlasting happiness can be found within our own being.
When you stand 100% in your personal strength – knowing that no other being can in fact MAKE you any better or worse, you become super honest with what you will allow, and what you will not tolerate.
This is why it is essential to not confuse having compassion, with allowing a person to disrespect you in any way. To have true compassion – you understand that the person has some deep seeded traumas that influence the way that they behave. You can relate to their suffering, and hope that they find peace and healing if they so choose. Although, and this is key, you do you do not take it on as your personal responsibility to see that they heal. You don’t take on the burden of their disfunction, it is not your responsibility or duty to be someone’s emotional or literal punching bag until they choose to face their unhealed issues.
So it is not more enlightened of you to suffer in silence. It is not more spiritually advanced of you to stay in a situation that is toxic to you, falsely reassuring yourself that because you are so enlightened, nothing can affect you. That is not empowering to you or anyone!
The more empowered you are, the better it is for you, and when you are balanced in self, the better you are for everyone around you. This is true service.
So this leaves you with what is the best choice for YOU. You focus on your personal boundaries – where you end and another begins. Before we can be interpersonal we must be clear on the personal level so that we are not leaking our distorted energy onto others, and so that we are not allowing others to project their unhealed issues onto us.
Emotional and spiritual maturity is when a you can see your issues as your issues and take accountability for your own healing process, instead of taking everyone along for the roller coaster ride with you. Over with the unbalanced codependent behaviour. Give yourself and others the room they need to thrive as empowered souls. Empowered people empower others.
This may mean only seeing a person you find toxic once a year, or not for 5 years, or maybe never again. This is all OK! It is important to see that everyone’s personal needs are different and so there is no ONE absolute right way to go about something.
Its obvious that if you are thinking about removing someone from your life, that there is enough that has accumulated that has brought you to this choice. Or if the thought of being with this person brings you stress because of their imbalance and unpredictable nature, than its best to free yourself of this altogether.
It is not our duty to make sure we all get along and play happy together. Some people are just not meant to be in a relationship together.
We are all at different points in our spiral of evolution and development. Your focus needs to be you and keeping your momentum on your personal journey, on your spiral. Focusing on those who lift you up on the spiral and the activities that keep you on your spiral.
It takes so much energy to try and match up to people who are on different points in the spiral, sometimes you have to go backwards on the spiral in order to continue a relationship with someone. This is neither beneficial to you or the other because you are holding back from your own true nature, using energy that could be spent on the things and people you love, to uplift you. And its not beneficial to the other because they remain stuck.
Acceptance that this release is what will be the best choice for you, is key. Owning the choice you have made and standing strong in your conscious decision. Only you know what is best for you. No one else can tell you what that is, so don’t fall prey to the judgments of others. The case usually is that it is stretching a limiting belief pattern for the person judging.
We are immersed in a time when all beliefs and limits are being shown that they have no power unless you give them power. So know that you are one of the courageous ones who is willing to step out of the safety box and pave a way of your own!
Once you release the toxic person/relationship from your life, truly free yourself. Release all anger and resentment toward this person. Forgive them for yourself. It doesn’t make it ok that they did the things they did, but you are releasing the toxicity that it brought you and not taking that energy on as your own. You are not mad at them, or angry, you are simply moving on with loving yourself more. You know it has been healed when the thought of the person doesn’t bring any feelings of anger, frustration, pain…. if there is still pain, there is releasing to be done. This is all good, its part of the process to living a healthy, fulfilled life. One that you create all your own! Free from unneeded stress and suffering!
I write about this because I have experienced it first hand, and share the intuitive insights I have had on my journey so that others don’t feel alone in their personal experience. It’s not an easy thing to do, especially when there are expectations around keeping a relationship in tact. But I feel that if we share our experiences, not just on this subject, but all others that don’t get talked about enough, we can illuminate the possibilities for living a life of peace and empowerment.
Much love to all, Jillian <3
This article (Releasing Yourself From Toxic Relationships And Situations) is free and open source. You have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Jillian Lavigne and www.collectivelyconscious.net.